against my better judgment i logged into facebook, and saw a friend-of-friend had posted pictures of a recent trip to the Creationist Museum and Dinosaur Valley with the UTD Atheist club me and Bri went on last summer. these pics were of a more recent trip, and Bri went again, and i was so torn up about it, feeling stupidly betrayed--like somehow she shouldn't go back there--but then i had this bitter thought: maybe this time she wouldn't be stuck with a broke guy whose card doesn't work.
maybe i didn't write about it, but when we were there, i had no cash, and my check card woudn't work, and Bri had to spot me. this was right after a fight we had about how she was pissed about having to pay for everything, which was warranted, since i had been pretty broke.

obviously, i still want Bri. i mean, the way we broke up, there weren't any hard feeling between us, we both still wanted each other, but it just wasn't working, it's left me weird. i don't have the anger or hatred to defend against the feelings of longing that would normally come after breaking up, and it's agonizing.

as opposed to the Total scrobbled by last.fm

is it a new years resolution? no, because i never make em, i'm just stuck on call and bored and realized i hadn't updated in forever.

sorry internet friends.

i haven't written about moving to Cincinnati, or having to go back to Dallas every month to meet with my probation officer (cause she doesn't know i moved), or driving to Detroit for Thanksgiving, or flying to Florida for Christmas, or any of the deep, dank, morose self-loathing and pathetic, tear-riddled self-pity brought on by my hermitage (i haven't tried to make friends, i've just stayed at home).

here's a picture of my living room