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11 January 2009 @ 01:33 am
against my better judgment i logged into facebook, and saw a friend-of-friend had posted pictures of a recent trip to the Creationist Museum and Dinosaur Valley with the UTD Atheist club me and Bri went on last summer. these pics were of a more recent trip, and Bri went again, and i was so torn up about it, feeling stupidly betrayed--like somehow she shouldn't go back there--but then i had this bitter thought: maybe this time she wouldn't be stuck with a broke guy whose card doesn't work.
maybe i didn't write about it, but when we were there, i had no cash, and my check card woudn't work, and Bri had to spot me. this was right after a fight we had about how she was pissed about having to pay for everything, which was warranted, since i had been pretty broke.

obviously, i still want Bri. i mean, the way we broke up, there weren't any hard feeling between us, we both still wanted each other, but it just wasn't working, it's left me weird. i don't have the anger or hatred to defend against the feelings of longing that would normally come after breaking up, and it's agonizing.

09 January 2009 @ 03:09 pm

as opposed to the Total scrobbled by last.fm
to date
02 January 2009 @ 12:13 pm
is it a new years resolution? no, because i never make em, i'm just stuck on call and bored and realized i hadn't updated in forever.

sorry internet friends.

i haven't written about moving to Cincinnati, or having to go back to Dallas every month to meet with my probation officer (cause she doesn't know i moved), or driving to Detroit for Thanksgiving, or flying to Florida for Christmas, or any of the deep, dank, morose self-loathing and pathetic, tear-riddled self-pity brought on by my hermitage (i haven't tried to make friends, i've just stayed at home).

here's a picture of my living room